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Bachelor and Bachelorette: Success or Disaster?

First, see my post, Wilted Roses and The Perils of Polygadating.

Second, see last night’s Bachelor (Season 16, Week 6) while it is still available.

Third, consider the updates: Ali Fedotowsky (Bachelorette, Season 6) has broken her relationship with Roberto Martinez while Ashley Hebert (Bachelorette, Season 7) is set to marry J.P. Rosenbaum in the Fall of 2012.

Finally, recall to mind Bentley Williams from Ashley’s Bachelorette. He was there for Emily Maynard, wrongly believing that she would be that season’s bachelorette, but seemingly had clear ulterior motives as accused by former Bachelor and Bachelor Pad contestant, Michelle Money (Brad Womack, Bachelor Season 15; Bachelor Pad Season 2), since he withdrew from Ashley’s season using the excuse that he missed his daughter but in his monologues clearly was there to play a game and catch everyone off guard, to do what no man had done before, that he wasn’t really there for love or for Ali.

All this is to say that the Bachelor and Bachelorette (herein “the Bachelor shows”) are not successful but disastrous.

Statistically, the show is really unsuccessful. To update the stats I have put together previously, bachelors have a 1/15 or 6.7% chance of finding a monogamous marriage through polygadating, bachelorettes have a 2/7 or 28.6% chance, and overall contestants have a 3/22 or 13.6% chance. This method is proven not to work.

Consider also Casey Shteamer. Last night’s episode of the Bachelor showed that she is in love with her ex boyfriend still, so they forced her to tell Ben, who promptly sent her home. Notice the show’s (and Ben’s) abhorrent double standard: it’s okay for Ben to be falling in love with or actually in love with more than one person, but his love interests may only be in love with him. This self-contradiction shows how absurd the Bachelor shows really are.

So far, only one bachelor and one bachelorette have enjoyed a successful fairy tale as a result of their endeavors. One more bachelorette is scheduled to be married this fall, but it remains to be seen, much like Ali and Roberto at the time of my last writing on this subject, whether she will actually get married. The Bachelor shows are a disaster, because they statistically have a high failure rate and it is based on self-contradiction. I pointed out one: it’s not okay for the love interests to have more than one love, but it is acceptable for the bachelor or bachelorette to have multiple exclusive relationships at the same time. As I said in my last post, one can’t expect to find a lasting monogamous relationship through the use of polygadating. Polygadating necessarily leads to polyamory, which necessarily leads to polygamy; to use polydating to find a mongamous relationship is an apparent self-contradiction. Since the bachelor and bachelorette are seeking to find their one true love, reason alone should tell them that this polygadating environment isn’t going to help them find monogamy. Both statistically and logically the shows are absurd. And Bentley is a case in point.

Bentley participated in Ashley’s Bachelorette (Season 7). He stated in his monologues that he was there to play a game, to do what no one else has done–to act like he was there for the bachelorette, for love, when in fact he was not. He ultimately withdrew after three episodes. He would speak sweetly to Ashley on their dates or one on one time, but then in the monologues talk very poorly and negatively about her. But his actions only highlight the absurdity of the show. It’s a positive affirmation of the show’s disastrous ends.

But while the show is a disaster, I admit, it is a success. It fails at love but excels at drama. Let’s face it–drama sells. The absurdity drives the drama; the drama hooks the viewers. It is the small hope of finding love that keeps bringing viewers back despite the absurdity of it all. The shows are masterfully designed with this regard, and they certainly are a success in this respect.

And this is the plunder, that love should be tainted in the name of entertainment. The Bachelor shows are a disgrace to monogamous marriages, yet I can’t help but watch the show and be entertained. What a frustrating situation.

Psalm 119:145-152

All of these verses begin with qof (ק).

I have called out with my whole heart; answer me, Lord, that I may keep your statutes!

I have called you; save me,
so that I may keep your decrees!

I have anticipated in the morning and called for help
I have waited for your words.

My eyes have anticipated the night watches
in order that I may meditate on your words.

Hear my voice according to your lovingkindness
Lord, let me live according to your judgments.

Pursuers of wickedness draw near
they have held themselves distant from your law.

You are near, Oh Lord
and all your commandments are truth.

Earlier I learned from your decrees
because you established them forever.